John T. Leonard Blog

Square pegs, round holes

Tue, 19 Dec 2023 10:30:00 GMT

As you may, or may not know, at the time of writing this blog, in late 2023, I am on the cusp of turning fifty...

As you may, or may not know, at the time of writing this blog, in late 2023, I am on the cusp of turning fifty. However, it is only within the most recent of those fifty years, that I received a diagnosis of being autistic, as well as suffering from ADHD.

Though many may consider this to be a shortcoming, and something to be embarrassed about, instead I have embraced it. Though not as an excuse, but rather as an explanation for things, as it has enabled me to gain an insight why so many things over the previous forty-nine years have gone the way they have.

Such as attempts at promotion to a supervisory role, two occasions some twenty years apart in two different jobs, though both failed for the same reason, which is nothing that any training could overcome.

So, why the title “ square pegs, round holes ?”

Well, the way I see it, society carves out a round hole for everyone to fit into, one that comes with expectations, and it someone don’t fit in that hole, then they’re often seen as defective, whilst the reason someone doesn’t fit is often no fault of their own, though as humans, essentially a pack animal, we yearn, strive to belong.

However, it is a fundamental, and practical impossibility for a square peg to adequately, and effectively fit into a round hole, it just can’t be done, at least not without leaving space all around, or resorting to distort itself, in shaving its corners off.

Now, where my diagnosis has helped me significantly, is in understanding this anomaly, in accepting that I will never fit in this hole as defined by society.

Also, I feel that the stress, depression, and anxiety I have previously been diagnosed with came from trying to make that peg adequately fit.

But now I am aware that it won’t fit, I won’t fit, so have stopped causing myself stress in trying to just that, knowing that I am content to be me.

As part of the neurodiverse community, I know that I will excel in some things, and perhaps struggle with others, and I have come to accept that, and more importantly, forgive myself, when there is a noticeable difference between the pegs and holes.

Terry Pratchett's first draft

Sun, 17 Dec 2023 16:30:00 GMT

For those who aren’t familiar with the name, Terry Pratchett is best known as a fantasy author

For those who aren’t familiar with the name, Terry Pratchett is best known as a fantasy author, and creator of the Discworld series, with the first novel being titled The Colour of Magic , released in 1983.

Well, Mr Pratchett is quoted as having once said “ The first draft is just you telling yourself the story ,” and from these wise words comes a practice I follow when it comes to completing my own first drafts.

The first draft can be nothing more than a sequence of events to get the author from Chapter One all the way through his story to the all-important The End , only for subsequent drafts to embellish the details between these two points.

Each first draft chapter could literally consist of nothing more than a couple of lines, an overview of what that part of the story will eventually entail, from where it starts, to where it ends, only for the next chapter to similarly take up the reins.

After the first draft reaches The End , then it’s back to Chapter One , to start preparing the story for its readers, filling in the gaps that now exist, though only on the page, but not in the writer’s head, as well as embellishing all the necessary details to paint the picture as the writer envisages.

Whereas the first draft of a chapter could simply involve a man walking to the local shop, with this line being all that’s required to get the story from the beginning to the end of that chapter, subsequent drafts could then include details about the man, what he’s wearing, his mood, why he’s going to the shop, where he left, who he left behind, as well as everything that he encounters along the way.

The fluid process of storytelling does not allow for all these details to come out in the first draft. If it did, and if the writer attempted to include all this first time round, the process would be hampered to such an extent that by the time the man got to the shop, the writer could very well have forgotten his reason for going there in the first place.

Same stories better told

Fri, 15 Dec 2023 16:35:57 GMT

Another couple of layers of polish with the George Lucas Special Edition treatment

In 2018, I completed, and self-published my second project, PRIMUS , a work of which I am immensely proud.

That released work, which was later picked up, and proofread by a professional publisher, was just over sixty-two thousand words in length, which at the time was considered a decent length, as I felt it was a well told story, with reviews suggesting the same.

However, having written and published over a dozen titles over the subsequent years, my writing has improved significantly in both structure and detail.

So, when I revisited PRIMUS, as part of a rebranding, I felt it fell short of the current standard, and although it was refreshing to see just how far my writing had progressing since those early days, I decided to give it the George Lucas Special Edition treatment, and give it another couple of layers of polish, in the form of another couple of drafts.

In bringing the manuscript up to my current standard, I found the word count effortlessly increased from sixty-two thousand, to over one hundred and sixteen thousand, though it remains the same story, only better told.

This has also compelled me to slow down the writing process, as I feel I may have previously been too eager to get a story told, perhaps having neglected the story telling in the process.

Read the latest edition of Primus...

From crimefighter to top CRIME WRITER

Tue, 30 Aug 2022 10:43:35 GMT

Policeman pens novels as a way of lessening his anxiety levels on the job

A SERVING police officer who lives in Redhill he’s using his experiences in the forced to write novels that have a gritty realism - and it’s had an unexpected effect in reducing his own anxiety.

John T. Leonard sees every day the impact of crime has on victims and those connected with them.

It means you can write crime thrillers that have an authenticity that can only come from seeing and experiencing the things he writes about.

But writing is not just a hobby for the 44-year-old, it’s therapy.

He explained: “Since a divorce I had, I’ve suffered greatly with anxiety. Writing is therapy for me. The characters I create can do the things I can’t. I can put how I’m feeling into a character and give them a happy ending. It shows they helped show me a way forward, out of my anxiety.”

Mr Leonard released his fourth book, A Life’s Work , on September 27 (2018) and it follows a boy, Oliver, who witnesses his mother is killing and seeks revenge, after the offender is released from jail early. His first three books were self-published but A Life’s Work was taken on by Pegasus Publishers.

One of the themes of his book is the frustration that can come out of the justice system. He said: “I see and deal with victims and witnesses all the time and I can see the disappointment when the case doesn’t go their way. It’s the same with police officers. They can regularly be disappointed when they put all the case together and spend months on it, to not get a conviction or get a suspended sentence. It’s this frustration that motivates a lot of the characters in my books. Oliver is, in a sense, an embodiment of vengeance that people want to seek.”

Mr Leonard started writing about 12 years ago but never finished his first manuscript.

Two years ago he started writing again and finished his first novel of 300 pages in 10 days whilst he was off work with carpal tunnel syndrome.

He said: “My books have gone from being online on Amazon to being in shops and in libraries. It’s really exciting for me.”

Originally published by SURREY MIRROR newspapers, October 11, 2018